Given the task to describe fundamental aspects of different cultures in a few words what would you say? Which facets of culture would you choose?
This was the task given to a group of university students a few weeks ago. When it came to food and mealtimes one word appeared quite often for Germany and it resonated with shocking clarity and preciseness, the word: functional.
An event, long, several courses, conversation with food in between; these were the labels given to meals in France.
While I found the word functional both funny and true the harsh contrast between the two cultures didn’t hit me until I returned to France over the holidays.
I had messaged a few friends earlier in the day announcing my arrival in Paris and inquired about the possibility of meeting up for dinner. I was told we would meet at 20:00 at a friend’s apartment for dinner. He and his girlfriend would be cooking, and a few other friends would be joining us.
After walking around for quite some time and freezing a bit we decided to warm ourselves with a few beers and enjoy (suffer!) through one of the last days of smoking in bars with another friend. (Shockingly, smoking will be forbidden in cafés, bars and restaurants in 2008, forcing the majority of smoking patrons onto the freezing streets or to quit smoking. The horror, the horror! )
A little before 20:00 and we are supposed to be halfway across Paris in a few minutes.
In Germany this would pose a couple problems:
1) the dinner is supposed to start at 20:00
2) we have someone else with us, we either ditch the person or bring them along, uninvited
In France the decision was a bit easier. Obviously we finish our beers at a leisurely pace and bring our friend with us.
We showed up around 20:40 and were welcomed in without the slightest hint of a reprimand and an extra place at the table was quickly arranged.
I won’t try to give you a play by play of the dinner but it went something like this:
- open wine
- eat shellfish
- more wine
- eat pasta with salmon
- another person arrives and a plate is quickly arranged for him
- eat a salad
- eat cheese
- more wine
- around 23:30 we were finished.
Granted this isn’t how long meals always take, but you get the idea. Eating is an event to be shared with friends over conversation. If someone else arrives they are a welcome addition. Time is relative, obviously if you meet an old friend on the street you should not only have a coffee together, but they should accompany you to dinner.
I am not saying that Germans do not enjoy eating, the description “functional” was straight from the horses mouth; the French just do it differently. I personally prefer the French way, but does one always have the time for this? Or should they make the time for this? I guess it comes down to what is important to you. To each their own.
This, for me, is what makes different cultures so exciting, both the glaring differences and the nuances that define them.
